Archetype Hero ·
The Barnacle
Attached to the organization. Detached from the work.
Corp Role profile
SCHTICK Score™
Seven traits, rated from 1 (low) to 10 (high). These describe a fictional archetype; a higher score is not always better.
How the SCHTICK Score™ works ↗
- Sycophancy
- UnratedHigh: Tells power exactly what it wants to hear.Low: Rarely flatters or agrees merely to please people in power.
- Confidence
- UnratedHigh: Projects certainty, regardless of evidence.Low: Shows little certainty and hesitates to assert a position, even when well informed.
- Honesty
- UnratedHigh: Tells the truth, even when inconvenient.Low: Withholds, distorts or avoids the truth when it is inconvenient.
- Tenacity
- UnratedHigh: Persists through resistance and setbacks.Low: Gives up or changes direction quickly when resistance or setbacks appear.
- Influence
- UnratedHigh: Uses charisma and persuasion to win people over and shape decisions, priorities and actions.Low: Has little sway over decisions or other people’s actions; struggles to win support.
- Capability
- UnratedHigh: Has the skills and judgement to deliver results.Low: Lacks the skills or judgement to deliver reliably and needs substantial help.
- Killer Instinct
- UnratedHigh: Seizes opportunities and outmanoeuvres rivals.Low: Rarely presses an advantage or pursues opportunities at a rival’s expense.
Why this one bites
The Barnacle settles onto the corporate hull—not to help steer, navigate, or propel it, but to secure a permanent place aboard. Where the Klingon attaches to a performer, the Barnacle attaches to a process, committee, or approval stage.
Over time, its presence becomes mandatory—even when nobody remembers why. Removing it requires a business case. Keeping it requires nothing. This corporate archetype satirizes the conversion of organizational permanence into authority, while the people doing the work continue to move the ship.
Famous for:
- Turning ‘keep me informed’ into ‘you need my approval.’
- Adding a review stage without accepting responsibility for the outcome.
- Treating longevity as evidence of contribution.
- Measuring its importance by how many things cannot proceed without it.
Favorite phrase:
- We need to make sure the proper process is followed.
Reality Byte
- The ship moves despite them. They report that they were part of the journey.
Accessible summary
- A smiling, tie-wearing barnacle is fixed to a ship labelled THE ORGANIZATION, holding an APPROVAL stamp while weary stickman workers row. Its speech bubble reads: We need to make sure the proper process is followed.
- Four vignettes show the Barnacle making approval mandatory, adding reviews while avoiding responsibility, claiming value from longevity, and preventing progress without its approval. Closing line: Removing it requires a business case. Keeping it requires nothing.