Barnacles on the Corporate Hull

Some people in a workplace serve the same purpose as barnacles on a ship. The longer a corporation stays afloat, the more it accumulates beneath its hull, and the slower it moves.

The purpose of a barnacle is to cling and reproduce. Moving the ship forward is someone else’s problem.

At first, the crew barely notices. A little extra resistance. Another meeting. Another approval. Another person who needs to be consulted but cannot explain what they contribute.

The ship is still moving, so nobody asks too many questions about the increasingly complex processes being added.

Over time, the barnacles become established. They acquire titles, budgets and teams. Attachment becomes a department. Reproduction becomes a recruitment strategy.

Soon, removing a barnacle requires approval from three other barnacles.

Meanwhile, the crew works harder to maintain the same speed. When progress slows, the barnacles commission a review of crew productivity.

The review recommends fewer crew. This is presented as an efficiency saving.

The distinction has nothing to do with seniority, salary or whether someone’s work is immediately visible. Ships need navigation, maintenance and people who notice the leak before everyone else notices the water.

But useful work has a connection to the ship’s progress, its safety or its ability to make the next voyage. Someone should be able to explain that connection without a forty-slide presentation.

As the captain, do you know the ratio of barnacles to crew on your ship?

How do you tell the difference?

Look at what happens when someone is absent. Does useful work stop? Does a problem go unnoticed? Does the crew lose knowledge, support or direction?

Or can everyone finally get on with their jobs?

Watch what happens when something goes wrong. Who takes responsibility for fixing it? Who creates another reporting requirement? Who needs more people to do the work, and who needs more people to justify their position?

Above all, examine what your organisation rewards. If attachment offers a safer career than contribution, you should expect barnacles.

Because in that case, you are cultivating them.

Over time, if nothing is done, the ratio of barnacles to crew grows. If nothing continues to be done, the ship eventually stops moving.

Then it sinks, and the barnacles move on to their next target.

With impressive experience from their previous ship on their CV.