Published cartoon · 2026-09-19

Barnacles on the Corporate Hull

More barnacles. Fewer crew. Impressive on a CV.

The thing about barnacles is that they stay out of sight, beneath the waterline.

From the bridge, you see the ship slowing down. You see the crew struggling. You don’t see what’s clinging to the hull.

Unless you know what to look for—and where to look.

Which is why inspecting the crew will never explain all the drag.

Six-panel RBM stickman cartoon: suited barnacles multiply beneath a corporate ship, require approvals for their removal, and recommend fewer crew. The ship sinks while the crew escapes; the barnacles move on to another ship with impressive CVs.

Why this one bites

A corporate ship slows as the barnacles beneath its hull multiply. The crew rows harder, but removing the drag requires approval from the barnacles themselves. Their review of crew productivity recommends fewer crew, presented as an efficiency saving.

The cartoon turns the editorial’s ship metaphor into a six-panel story about rewarding attachment instead of contribution. When the ship sinks, the crew escapes in a lifeboat and the barnacles take their experience to a new captain. Their previous senior positions survive on their CVs, even though the ship did not.

Read the editorial: Barnacles on the Corporate Hull →

Transcript

Header: REALITY BYTES ME. Same People. Different Reality. Title: BARNACLES ON THE CORPORATE HULL.
Panel 1. Three crew members row a ship labelled CORPORATION while suited barnacles cling beneath its hull. Barnacle: Our purpose is to cling and reproduce. Second barnacle: Moving the ship is someone else’s problem.
Panel 2. Crew member: We’re slowing down, Captain. Captain: Can we remove the barnacles? Barnacle: That requires approval from three other barnacles.
Panel 3. Report: CREW PRODUCTIVITY REVIEW. Barnacle: We recommend fewer crew. Second barnacle: An efficiency saving!
Panel 4. Caption: MORE BARNACLES. FEWER CREW. One exhausted crew member rows while the hull is covered in barnacles. Barnacle: We need another review.
Panel 5. Caption: THEN IT SINKS. The captain and crew escape in a lifeboat. The barnacles swim away carrying briefcases. Barnacle: Time for our next opportunity.
Panel 6. A barnacle presents a paper labelled CV to the captain of another ship. Captain: Relevant experience? Barnacle: I held a senior position on my previous ship. Caption: IMPRESSIVE ON A CV.