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Published cartoon ·

Lake Inferior — Blame Canada

President Evil plans an invasion, launches the merchandise, and discovers that even a geological fault can be reassigned.

Fourteen-panel RBM political satire featuring President Evil with wavy yellow hair and his bespectacled aide Gimp. They discuss invasion targets, NATO, Epic Fist merchandise, Fistcoin, fabricated distractions, and renaming the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden’s Fault.

Why this one bites

President Evil and his aide Gimp work through a list of invasion targets. Oil and a football star sound promising; alliances sound like boring technical details. Before the contradictions are resolved, Operation Epic Fist already has merchandise and its own cryptocurrency initiative, Fistcoin.

This fictional political satire follows the transformation of accountability into branding. Practical objections become personal irritations, inconvenient evidence becomes a proposed distraction, and the final solution is to rename a geological fault after somebody else. The dialogue is invented, not a record of statements by real people.

Transcript

  • Title: Lake Inferior. Blame Canada. Label: 99% Fictional Political Satire.
  • Panel 1. President Evil: The Truth Is Out There. Gimp: Who are we invading this month, sir? Greenland, Denmark or Canada?
  • Panel 2. President Evil: Let’s go with Norway, they have oil and we love oil. We need more oil. We can also use that Haaland guy on our team once Norway is fully assimilated.
  • Panel 3. Gimp: Norway is in NATO, sir. So are Canada and Denmark. President Evil: Then Greenland it is.
  • Panel 4. Gimp: Sir, Greenland is technically part of Denmark, so technically also in NATO. President Evil: Don’t bother me with the boring technical details, nerd.
  • Panel 5. Gimp: Yes, sir. I mean, No, sir. What shall we call the operation? President Evil: Let’s call it.... Epic Fist!
  • Panel 6. Gimp: Yes, sir. Operation Epic Fist it is. Shall I order the Epic Fist merch from Bezos also?
  • Panel 7. President Evil: Yes, and let’s also launch another cryptocrap currency initiative: Fistcoin. Display: Make Fistcoin Great Again.
  • Panel 8. Gimp: Got it, but what about NATO, sir? President Evil: What about it?
  • Panel 9. Gimp: Sir, we’re in NATO too. We’d be invading our own alliance. Display: Allies today? Enemies tomorrow?
  • Panel 10. President Evil: Well, I didn’t sign anything, so stop bothering me with the technical details, porky. Just do it. Poster: Ignorance is a strategy too.
  • Panel 11. Gimp: Shall I also release the real Epstein files to confuse the public?
  • Panel 12. President Evil: What!? Of course not. Just have AI generate something that sounds a bit like Epstein but without any verifiable details. Screen checklist: Epstein-ish. Vague. No details. Sounds real.
  • Panel 13. President Evil: Also, rename the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden’s Fault.
  • Panel 14. Gimp: On it, sir. Gimp replaces the map label with Joe Biden’s Fault as President Evil smiles. Poster: Blame solves everything.
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